Sudden Regret

What is about people who make others think they need them? You know how people need others to go on in life but never want to admit it? Well, I've been thinking about that lately. How is it that someone can be so important to another and realizing it when it's too late?

...Two Months Earlier

"It's almost closing time, Matt!" I yelled to my coworker across the office.

He nodded and kept reading some papers that were faxed to him through the printer. It's only him, Tammy, and me tonight when it's supposed to be four of us. I guess that's what happens when certain people get too comfortable...Whatever. I leave the office to straighten up the aisles since it seems like no one else has done it. I swear I am the only productive person at this store but none of the managers want to realize it. It's all about popularity here and I was lucky enough to get a job here...Thanks to Josh.

"Hey, Tammy," I spoke aloud as I approached her at the counter in the beauty department, "Can you start straightening so we can be out of here a little early?"

Tammy, as she smacking her gum loud with her full lips glistening, rolls her eyes up to me and frowns slightly. All night, she has been either reading magazines or texting on her phone--not actually working. She only works when the store manager is here, Mr. Jones and I think it's because she has this inappropriate crush on him. That means she'll do her hair or makeup different and do things a certain way. Let's say if Mr. Jones is talking to a customer on an aisle about a product...Tammy will go beyond and high just to "act" like she's fixing something on the lower shelf and bend over slowly. Yeah, Tammy is like that.

"Did Matt say to?" she smacked her gum loudly.

"No...But I figured since it's Friday we could enjoy our nights by getting out a littler earlier." I explained.

Tammy chuckled and rolled her eyes once more, closing the magazine in front of her. She left the counter and walked passed me to the back--not even touching anything on the shelves that obviously needed to be fixed. I only shook my head and walked back towards the front. I could see some of our carts were missing so I headed outside to fetch them.

I can't wait to get off...Maybe call some friends over for pizza and scary movies.

I'm back inside the store, putting up the carts when I feel a slight breeze on the back of my neck. I jump once I turn around to see Mr. Jones' son, and my friend, Joshua smiling at me. "God--you scared the shit out of me, Josh!" I sighed.

"What're friends for?" he laughed.

"Damn it, man...I'm trying to close up. You shouldn't be here. You know your dad doesn't like you being here, especially when he's not around."

Josh's smile faded and his skin turned pale. "Screw my dad. I have every right to be here."

"Well, I can't make you do anything for free so just follow me around. I'm trying to get this place cleaned up so we can close exactly at seven and leave."

"Let me guess--Matt and Tammy?"

I turned towards him and nodded slowly. "Fucking sucks, man."

After we walked back in the store, I began going up and down the aisles fixing anything out-of-place while Josh explained his day to me. He mentioned how he kept getting close calls on the road and being in wrecks and how he hasn't been feeling good. "Maybe you're hungry? I was thinking about getting pizza and inviting a couple over for movies. You down?"

"Yeah...Sounds great." Josh looked down at his shoes and kicked the floor lightly with the front of his shoe. "I don't know though...I just don't think I'm in the mood to be around people."

"Oh, come on..." I nudged Josh in his arm as we went back up front. I got behind the counter just in case we got any last-minute customers. I glance at the clock and it reads 6:30 p.m. "I'll invite that girl, Carly. She's pretty and I'm pretty sure she's into you."

"Nah..." Josh shook his head as he leaned over onto the counter. "I have my eyes on someone else."

"You're supposed to tell me things!" I frowned playfully. "Well, who is she?"

"I can't say just yet..."

"You can tell me anything. I won't knock you if she's a big girl."

"That's not even important, Sam...I really need to talk to you."

I could see his whole demeanor change. His body was stiff and his face told me that he's cried more than once today. Now that I've realized...His eyes are red. Not too bloodshot but it's going away. "Josh...What's going on?"

"I...I just feel really alone." Josh said quietly. "I feel like you're the only one who understands me..."

"I'm here for you, Josh. Do you wanna talk now or wait? We can talk at my house so you don't have to worried about being heard."

"Sam, you don't understand...I feel like--"

"Well, if it isn't Mr. Jones' bitch." Tammy walked up, snickering. Josh's seldom face turned cold, twisting into a small snarl...something I've never seen before. "Oops, I mean, Mr. Jones' whiny ass bitch for a son."

"Tammy, why do you have to talk to him like that?" I wondered. "You could get fired, you know."

"Fired?" Tammy giggled. "I'm too pretty for that."

"She's right, Sam..." Josh mumbled. "He wouldn't fire her because of my word..."

"But Josh...She's harassing you and has been doing it ever since she's been working here."

"So?" Tammy scowled.

"So, you could get in tro--"

Before I could finish, Josh whipped out--whipped out a pistol and held the chamber against Tammy's face. She cried out as he pressed it against her forehead and she instantly begged for him to stop. What the fuck is going on? I think I stopped breathing or thinking because I'm not moving at all...Just watching Josh threaten Tammy with a gun to her head.

"You fat bitch! I am sick of your shit!" Josh screamed. "You think you can talk shit all the time because you flirt with my father and his chubby chasing ass likes it. Well, guess what? I don't! You and him can go to hell!"

I open my mouth to speak but nothing comes out. I can see so much rage in his eyes...Rage that had been hidden...But for how long? I slowly turned my eyes towards the office and just before you get to the door, you can see a small window on the wall that let's you see into the office but only if you know what's behind the one way glass. I happen to see Matt and he's on the phone, probably calling for the cops. His eyes are big enough to tell me he's as scared as the rest of us. I look back at Josh and he's facing me but still scowling down at Tammy, who is in the floor crying softly. The gun is now beside Josh’s leg, facing down with his finger off the trigger.

"Josh..." I call out and he whips his head up at me. I hold up my hands only to let him know that I'm not trying to stop him, although I do hope he doesn't kill any of us. "Tell me what's going on?"

"People like her, Sam...Her and my dad and people at school...They think I'm a joke." Josh said softly, clinching the pistol.

"I don't...I think you're one of the coolest people at school. Screw anyone who thinks different."

"But that's just it, Sam...You're the only one who thinks different. Everyone else is so worried about themselves and the only time anyone pays attention to me is when I fuck up."

"You'll meet people who appreciate your presence..." I could hear sirens inching closing to the building--and so could Josh.

He yells out, holding the gun towards the ceiling and pulls the trigger of the gun, a few pieces falling to the floor. He pointed it towards her but I don't think he was really trying to hurt her. What is he trying to do? How long has he felt like this? "You're a fucking coward, Matt. Why don't you come face me! Calling the cops like a punk bitch!”

"Josh...Talk to me--fuck Matt." I said, shaking suddenly. "I just want to know what you're going to accomplish here."

Josh's shoulders loosened and he held his head low. He started crying and Tammy thought it was a way to escape. She began crawling away really fast but Josh caught up to her and kicked her so hard that she fell on her face and I believe busted her mouth. She looked up at him as she begged for mercy, with a mouth full of blood. "You stay your fat ass right here and if you move, I will shoot you so that you can't smack gum anymore!"

She nodded and laid down on the floor like she's given up all hope. Josh glanced back at me and I looked away. I could see lights glowing outside and they were yelling for Josh to come out. Josh started pacing around and scratching his head with the pistol. He was sobbing now and not only am I sacred for all of our lives but for Josh. What was he going to do tonight? Is he really trying to make a point? Well, of course, he has a gun...Who is it really meant for?

"Josh, I think you should put the gun down...The cops might take you down." I mentioned.

"They'd be doing me a favor..." Josh came back over to me and leaned against the counter. "This gun is really for me, Sam."

"But why? Why couldn't you just talk to me before this--or waited? I don't wanna see you in jail, man. You already looking at assault for fucking up Tammy's mouth."

Josh leaned really close to me and placed his free hand on mine. He looked at me and I could see fear. "I love you, Sam."

"I love you too, Josh but this isn't the best way--"

"No, Sam..." Josh's grip tightened on my hand for a second then he let go to step back. "I love you..."

I blinked, letting Josh's confession sink in but it didn't bother me. I was really worried about him. I could hear the cops threatening to come in now and I could feel my body getting weak. "Josh...They're gonna shoot you."

"Not if I do it first." Josh smiled calmly. He rose the gun to his head and held his index finger over the trigger. "Sam, be sure to tell everyone who I really was."

"Was..?" I narrowed my eyes as he closed his.

"Josh--"

Pow!

Every sound around me was louder than usual— my ears were ringing. Tammy was screaming and backing away, scooting on the floor. Matt was nowhere in sight but the cops managed to be in suddenly. I didn't want to look down. I'm too scared. Instead, I look at the clock...

...7:00 p.m.